The Dangerously Loony Couple
by Bear of Cali
Summary: When unexpected result happen, Krieg and Gaige are thrust right into center stage. Can these two learn to thrust and watch each other's back against hardship? Or will they succumb to the horrors of Pandora?


Unexpected Duo

_Boom!_

"Ha Ha HA! Man, that was a big explosion! Ah, those vault hunting bandits are going to be feeling that!" Handsome Jack said as he watched live satellite footage of a train explosion from his suite in the Hyperion city of Opportunity.

"Uh… Jack, sir?" A nervous, digital voice said.

"Yeah? What is it Angel?" Jack asked, as he took a sip of delicious, liquefied gold.

"Um… I'm not reading any lifesigns, sir." Angel said hesitated.

Jack almost chocked on his expensive drink, "What?!"

"I'm not reading them in the train car they were in, or anywhere the area around it."

"Well shit, maybe I shouldn't have ordered those boxes of C4 and nitroglycerin, along with the dynamite. All those hours of research and manipulation wasted, and that Siren could have been an asset. Well, at least she's dead." Jack said, annoyed. "Oh well, those Crimson Bandits aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Angel, look up some other candidates."

"Wait, I'm sensing two lifesigns."

"Stop tossing me curveballs here Angel. Is everyone dead or are there survivors?"

"They're alive, but these two are not who we planned on."

"Is that so? Have you identified them?" Jack said, now interested in these new players.

"Yes sir. It was easy considering recent events."

"Angel, you know I don't watch the News. Unless I'm featured in them, of course. Now, pull up whatever files what have on them."

Soon, holographic News articles and photos from the planet of Eden-5 are displayed, with titles saying 'Mad Scientist Girl Murders Eden's Eve, Marcy Halloway.' Jack starts laughing.

"So this is the girl that killed Halloway's brat two weeks ago? I never thought I hear the end of it at the last trillionaire meeting. 'Wah! I'll get that menace for murdering my innocent little girl! Wah!'" Jack mocked and laughed, "I like this girl already! What else can you tell me?" Jack said, as his laugher died down.

"The girl, Gaige, has a bounty of 720 billion because of the murder. She constructed a floating attack robot in her backyard-"

"Seriously?"

"Yes sir and she can summon it any time through her prosthetic arm."

"We're still attaching robot parts to people? I mean, sure, there are those mechanical nutballs on Mars, but come on, we have the technology to clone parts."

"She made it on her own sir."

"How is she better that our own mechanics? Whatever, on to the next one. And put a another 100 billion on the girl for creating illegal technology" Jack said with a wave of his hand. Hyperion files appear, which peaks Jack's interest. "So, this one is one of ours?"

"Yes sir, Subject Krieg was a Vault Hunter before we capture him, and his family. However, he was able to escape and has been on the run for the past month. He slaughtered anybody we send after him, as well as almost anybody in his way. The company has placed a 100 billion bounty on his head." Angel explained.

"So we have a teenage genius with a homemade robot, and a lab-made psychopath. Not what I had in mind, but maybe I can make this work. That is unless the Psycho doesn't eat the girl first.

* * *

Gaige woke up in the cold interior of the train car she rode in, head pounding and ears ringing. She didn't how she ended up in this state. She remembers being stirred from her sleep by the sound of muffled gunfire. Before she could find out what was going on, an explosion rocked the entire train. Soon, Gaige's world was suddenly spinning, having her bang against the metal walls of her car. She blacked out after her fifth tumble. It was not a good day to stowaway.

Gaige doesn't think she has a concussion, but she is sure she's going have bruises, and going to feel very sore later. She reached for her Echo communicator that is attached to her belt to see if there was anybody she can talk to. When she found the device, she also found a metal rod had lodged through it... As well as her thigh.

'Aw man, all that time and effort upgrading Deathtrap is now wasted. This sucks!' Gaige thought to herself, 'And being impaled also sucks. Holy crap, this hurts.' She placed a hand on the rod, and pulled. It was as painful as when she had to hack off her arm. Soon the metal was out of the mechromancer's leg, without causing some bleeding. She looked around for something she could use to cover up the wound, but found nothing. She did find some duct tape, and with some reluctance, use the tape as makeshift gauze.

After a moment she figure that a doctor or something could fix this up or find an Insta-Health Vial. For the moment, there is going to be a hole in her leg. She's lucky the rod missed the bone, because even an Insta-Health Vial won't repair shattered bits.

Gaige pulled her busted Echo device from the rod with a bit of effort. 'Goddamn bit of metal, ruining Deathtrap and my leg.' Gaige thought, as she tossed away the ruined object.

Using the side of the car for support, Gaige was able to stand up, although her leg was still in pain. The Mechromancer hobbled to the door of the train car hoping that she landed near some sort of civilization.

Once Gaige got the door open, she was greeted with cold winds in her face. She stepped out into the snow, put on her goggles, and saw a tundra wasteland and a giant rock wall.

Gaige only had one thought in her head, 'Perfect.'

* * *

Krieg was cold. Wasn't a surprise, considering that he was shirtless and had no shield. Truth be told that shields, when not deflecting bullets and other things of a kinetic nature, could also protect their users from some of the elements of nature, though not the more extreme elements.

Anyway, Krieg picked himself up from the ground, not bothered cold nipping at him, and looked around.

'Where is she? Is the Siren alright? How long have we been out?' the inner voice of the Psycho immediately asked himself, but he had no answers, or anyway to find out those answers.

'Quick, call out for her!' The voice told himself.

"HEY PRETTY SWIMSUIT LADY! COME OUT! WE WANT TO SEE YOUR BOUNTIFUL BLUE BOB!" the large Psycho called out to the waste.

'... Good enough.' Krieg continue to look around, but continued to get no answer but the continuing howl of the winds. 'Where is she?' The inner voice asked again.

"SHE SLIPPED SILENTLY SINCE OUR SLUMBER! OR SHE IS SINGING SYMPHONIES IN THE SKIES!" Krieg yelled.

'There is no way the siren is dead yet, but you may be right with her leaving before we could wake. Best thing to do now is walk,' the voice said. Krieg nodded and start off in some random direction.

"I WISH TO FEEL THE WARM FIRES OF BLOOD!" Krieg cried out.

'Calm down. I'm sure we'll come across something sometime soon,' he said to himself, knowing how Krieg gets when he bored.

Moments after he conversed with himself, the Psycho spotted something crawling from one of the wrecked train cars. Krieg could not make out the figure as the wind and snow obscured his vision. The figure definitely looked human, and a short one at that, but not midget short. Whether this person was innocent or guilty Krieg didn't know, but his fingers were itchy, his legs cramped, and he started playing with his buzz-axe. Then Krieg noticed something.

'Go.' The voice said.

The Psycho didn't need to be told twice as he ran.

* * *

'Where the Hell am I suppose to go?' Gaige thought to herself, as she looked around for some clear path out, but her goggled eyes could only see tundra wasteland as far as the eye can see. 'Maybe if walk along the wall, I can find a path to the other side.'

Suddenly, she heard something, like something running at a fast pace.

Gaige soon found the source of the noise as she a large, shirtless masked man running right towards her.

'Shit! A Psycho!" she cried in her head as she remembered the article in the almanac she read on the way to Pandora. The Mechromancer tried to run in some other direction, but she momentarily forgot about the condition of her leg. Her leg buckled as she put weight on and Gaige soon felt a lot of pain. She cried out as she fell to her knees. Gaige start looking around for a weapon, something she can use to defend herself. 'Damnit! Why didn't I buy a gun!' she scolded herself, but she knew she wouldn't live long to regret it.

The Psycho raised his buzz-axe high as he continued running towards the girl and getting very close. Gaige raised her arms in a feeble attempt to defend herself and waited for her painful end.

She heard an animalistic roar, and the sound of metal cutting into flesh and bone.

A moment passed before Gaige realized that she wasn't dead. She opened her eyes, and saw that the Psycho was standing right in front of her, breathing heavily. She saw that his arm was extended, and Gaige soon what the axe struck instead of her. It was a weird ape with four arms and white fur. The buzz-axe buried deep into its skull. The Psycho pulled out the axe and slashed at its chest, casting the beast away from the two of them.

The Psycho then reached for Gaige, who started to fear for her life again. He grabbed her metal arm and flung her away from her current position as more four-armed snow ape appeared around the wrecked train car. Gaige landed with a thud, causing pain to be shot throughout her leg. She clenched her teeth and did her best to suppress her screech. When pain subside in moments, Gaige looked to her savior, and saw that he was fight many of the snow apes. The Psycho certainly overpowered some of them, but the snow apes had numbers on their side. Deciding that she was not going to be helpless, and that she wanted answers, Gaige made a motion with her robotic arm and arising from thin air was large, red and white, floating robot with single blue eye.

"Deathtrap help the Psyho!" the Mechromancer called out to the machine, however Deathtrap was just hovered in the air.

"Didn't you hear what I said?! Go!" After a moment the robot did what it was commanded, and rushed to the brawl.

'The Hell happened to Deathtrap?' Gaige asked herself before the answer hit her, 'Sonvuabitch! His processing power must be glitchy. Now he's as slow as an ancient computer! Goddamn that metal rod!' she cursed to herself.

While the girl thought to herself, Krieg was surprised to see that she summon this odd looking robot that soon aided him in slaughtering these arctic gorillas. Soon the two large beings and the ground around them was soaked in blood. The last of the gorillas ran from the two.

"RUN ANTS! RUN FROM THE FIRES OF MY JOY!" Krieg called after them.

"What?" Gaige asked, confused by the madman's taunt, as Deathtrap disappeared in a brief flash of light, its power source ran out.

Krieg turned walk towards the downed girl. Gaige start to panic and think of terrible situations.

"Is he still going to kill me? Deathtrap won't be online until his power is recharged, and my leg still has a hole in it. I'm a sitting duck,' Gaige thought. When Krieg stood in front of the girl, he reached his hand and the girl flinched.

'Expected,' said the maniac's inner voice, 'would be surprised if somebody wasn't afraid of us.'

Gaige look at the large hand, then to the Psycho. She cautiously placed her own hand in his, and was immediately lifted up from her sitting position. Two look at each other, eye to eye.

"That was AWESOME!"

The two turned to the source of the joyous cry, and saw a small orange box with a shovel in its mechanical hand.

**Author's Note:**

**Yeah, I killed off the original four. What of it?**


End file.
